We’re supposed to look forward, forgetting what’s behind; yet, looking backwards provides such tranquility and perspective for me. My past helps me figure out who I am, and I love digging through the mess that is my history and my heart to understand the way I was made. Most people could go their whole lives without more than a few moments of soul-searching. Not I. I dig every chance I get, and as a result, I think I have a firm grasp on who I am and why I do the things I do.
At the end of this glorious year, like everyone else, I’m reflecting on the trials and victories that propelled me to where I now stand. The ups didn’t correspond with the downs, and sometimes it felt like the losses were greater than the wins. But standing on the threshold of a new year, with a year’s worth of growth and maturity behind me and within me, I am so immensely grateful. For the hard times, most especially. For the things that broke me. For the ones who left me.
Without the cracking and the breaking, the Light wouldn’t shine through as brightly. For I am merely a vase of clay, housing the eternal Light, learning to be grateful for every fall and every crack and every ripped out part, simply because it lets what’s inside of me shine forth ever more gloriously. Breaking is a beautiful thing. That’s what this year taught me.
Here’s to the cracks in my vase. Here’s to a luminous future. Without Him, I am nothing.