Sometimes you find truth in places where you least expect it. Sometimes all it takes is watching a season of The Bachelor. I’ve been judged and reprimanded for wasting quality time watching such a ridiculous and unethical show. Those well-intentioned people are probably right and the only other two seasons I’ve watched, were probably a waste of good time.
This season, however, was not a waste of time in the least. The season finally came to a close last night with the ending everyone apparently saw coming – I was hoping that it would be Chantal instead. I’ve faithfully watched every week to see what this season’s hunky bachelor, Brad Womack, would do and who he would ultimately choose.
One of the last three women standing – and my least favorite – was Ashley H. While undoubtedly beautiful and cheerful, she drove me crazy. According to Brad, she could have been the one he proposed to at the end of the day. Instead, she got sent home so close to the end. And it wasn’t because he was certain she wasn’t “the one”. It was simply because she was insecure.
I have Ashley H. to thank for showing me how terribly unattractive insecurity really is. No matter how often Brad reassured her of his feelings, which was far too often, she still questioned his intentions. She wouldn’t let herself be real and enjoy time with him. Her fear that she wasn’t good enough for him was incessant and ultimately, led to her broken heart. We don’t even really know who Ashley H. is because her insecurities hid her from us all season.
Need I say more?
After watching the whole Ashley H. ordeal, I thought to myself, “That is disgusting. And that’s who I’ve been. Enough is enough.” It wasn’t the sole reason, but The Bachelor played a big role in my decision to give up my insecurities for lent, and hopefully, for the rest of my life. Humble confidence is far more attractive, and far more God-honoring.
I cried through so many episodes of this season, most especially when Ashley S. left. She was one of my favorites, and her exit interview broke my heart, mostly because I could identify with 98% of everything she said. But the beauty of her honesty and transparency was outstanding.
So call me sappy or lame or ridiculous – and even while I don’t recommend the show – I loved this season of The Bachelor. I saw how incredibly beautiful authenticity and courage are. And I saw how incredibly unattractive being insecure is. And of course, I marveled every week at the visual masterpiece that is Brad Womack. [And as a side rant, to all the Emily-is-so-perfect people, can you finally see that she isn’t? I stood by my opinion that she needed time to heal before she was going to be ready for marriage and I was right! HA! :)]
It’s been a week into lent and giving my insecurities the cold shoulder. People have asked me how I’m doing it – simply fighting the lies as they come and replacing them with truth, and then acting on the truth instead of the lie. My goodness, it’s been refreshing. I was even accused of being flirty because I decided to stop questioning myself and my worth! Flirty! That’s never been a word used to describe me, that’s for sure. I’m terribly excited for the rest of my confident life. You should try it too.