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[insert words here]

These days I fear I have nothing to say.

It’s not like I don’t have thoughts. It’s just that they’re so perfectly jumbled up in my head that I couldn’t even tell you what I’m thinking. I have no clear thoughts. I have no words. I just feel. And that, a little too intensely. I’m good at acting – if you’ve seen me recently, I seem fine. Same old inappropriate humor, same old seemingly strong facade. Maybe you’ve noticed the quiet sadness? Maybe I’m too good at acting to let you see that.

I guess I owe the faithful 7 readers who keep checking daily a reason for my long leave of absence. I didn’t mean to stay away this long. I just can’t think of  anything worth saying.

I’m sleep deprived, anxious, and restless. It’s not something that won’t pass, I’m sure. But right now, I have no words, just incoherent emotions. That’s all.

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About thehonestbrave

tending the space between where i am and where i want to be.

2 responses »

  1. well, you know I hope you know you’re not alone in maintaining a facade of “okay-ness” at times. If you want to act authentic around someone you can act like that around me because I’d rather that than a facade. To be quite honest, the normal facades that people wear around me make me feel uncomfortable, and like I need one…so I made one to match everyone else.

    However much I love your inappropriate jokes, and love telling you mine cuz i think you’ll get them…just act how you feel. I’m sure you do around some people 🙂 And I guess I need to take my own advice…but I like honesty and authenticity.

    One of your faithful 7

    haha (that reminds me of Charlie’s angels or Kill Bill or Superheroes…i dunno…something stealthy)

    Reply
  2. the girl on a journey

    Hahahaha you are so great my friend. Really. Thank you. I’m working on it 🙂

    Reply

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