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Inferno

Brooke Fraser’s Love, Where Is Your Fire? puts into words everything my heart is trying to say.

I am slowly learning the worth of my heart. It’s taken years, and a decent amount of pain. It’s a universal problem we women have. When we haven’t taken the time to dive into the depths of our selves to understand who were made to be, what wounds we carry around, and how that affects our day-to-day interactions, we feel empty. Incomplete. Worthless even. Then we seek to find our validation in the arms of willing lovers, be they men, hobbies, habitual sin, the perfect physique, the list is endless.

It’s hard to say no to the “impostors” that offer “a good-feeling glow” and instead hold out for the “inferno that burns to the bone”. When said inferno is nowhere in sight, a mere glow begins to appear desirable. And so I settle, knowing fully well that this one is an impostor. That this one might feel good right now but will still leave me sitting by smoldering embers.

An inferno should be scary…Is scary. It should be all consuming. Wild. Uncontrollable. Powerful. A glow is nice, warm. Momentary bliss. Deep down I know I’d rather be unforgettably scorched to my very core by an inferno, than momentarily warmed by a glow. But sometimes, the glow is reality and the inferno, a dream.

But I will wait patiently. I will trust in the Sovereign plan. His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor his ways my ways. But, he makes all things work together for my good because I love him and I’m called according to his purpose. That’s my hope. And my joy.

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About thehonestbrave

tending the space between where i am and where i want to be.

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